I am going to have another baby.
What am I nuts, am I asking for punishment and stress?
Yes, I am.
I am very excited though.
I must admit though, I don't know how I am going to handle it.
I have little patience for my son, HE throws a lot of fits as it is.
I hope I can handle it.
The one thing I didn't expect with this pregnancy was the extreme exhaustion.
I AM TIRED all the time.
It is hard to determined whether I am tired because I am sick, (chronic sinus infections and issues) or if it is because I am pregnant. OKAY we contribute it to both!
I want to clean my house but it is coming down around my often times, the laundry gets washed and remains on the floor.
The dinner gets cooked and the dishes remain in the sink, until my dear hubby does them. I am lucky he does that you know.
The kids get watched but some days PBS and KBYU do most of the watching, Yes, I admitted that ugly truth.
There are days since I have been pregnant were I am bursting with energy and get so much accomplished.
I think there has been like 3 okay maybe 4.
Do I feel guilty? Yes. Should I? Maybe.
I grew up with a mother who was sick for my entire life, I think I have few memories of her well.
So when I am out of commission I feel pressure to do what I need to do NO MATTER WHAT.
I feel ashamed when I don't cook a good dinner, I feel guilty when I don't play with my kids, I feel guilty when I lack the energy to do all the things that need to be done.
I know I need to be kinder to myself.
I am growing a little baby in my body.
I am giving life to another Child of God.
I have to take care of myself, my body and my baby.
I can give only what I can.
I am just pray that I can do what it takes to have a happy family around me.
In my fatigue it is very hard to be patient with myself and every one around me.
When my son screams, I want to scream. I don't do it most of the time.
Thank goodness I do hug and kiss him though. And he is still young enough to forgive me.
I had a terrible time with my 2nd pregnancy with fatigue and my temper often got the best of me then.
We got through it. I can get through this. I have grown a lot since then, I have let myself relax more, I have given my self permission to do so.
So even on my worst days my mental and emotional breakdowns are fewer. My sweet husband is happy for that I am sure.
When I was pregnant with both of my little girls I was very very crazy. So my husband assumed that this baby was a boy, that speaks volumes to me about my ability to handle that way I have been feeling and the control I have managed to have.
We are having a girl, and my emotions have been MOSTLY in check. Even through my tired and worn body.
As I write this I feel immensely proud of myself. Though I am struggling, I have been pretty happy, and not completely intolerable in my emotions, HOW DID MY HUBBY TOLERATE ME when I was pregnant with my girls? I believe I was not that bad with my son. (I am entitled to believe that). My husband backs me up on that though.
Well, on that happy note I will check out. Night all!
What am I nuts, am I asking for punishment and stress?
Yes, I am.
I am very excited though.
I must admit though, I don't know how I am going to handle it.
I have little patience for my son, HE throws a lot of fits as it is.
I hope I can handle it.
The one thing I didn't expect with this pregnancy was the extreme exhaustion.
I AM TIRED all the time.
It is hard to determined whether I am tired because I am sick, (chronic sinus infections and issues) or if it is because I am pregnant. OKAY we contribute it to both!
I want to clean my house but it is coming down around my often times, the laundry gets washed and remains on the floor.
The dinner gets cooked and the dishes remain in the sink, until my dear hubby does them. I am lucky he does that you know.
The kids get watched but some days PBS and KBYU do most of the watching, Yes, I admitted that ugly truth.
There are days since I have been pregnant were I am bursting with energy and get so much accomplished.
I think there has been like 3 okay maybe 4.
Do I feel guilty? Yes. Should I? Maybe.
I grew up with a mother who was sick for my entire life, I think I have few memories of her well.
So when I am out of commission I feel pressure to do what I need to do NO MATTER WHAT.
I feel ashamed when I don't cook a good dinner, I feel guilty when I don't play with my kids, I feel guilty when I lack the energy to do all the things that need to be done.
I know I need to be kinder to myself.
I am growing a little baby in my body.
I am giving life to another Child of God.
I have to take care of myself, my body and my baby.
I can give only what I can.
I am just pray that I can do what it takes to have a happy family around me.
In my fatigue it is very hard to be patient with myself and every one around me.
When my son screams, I want to scream. I don't do it most of the time.
Thank goodness I do hug and kiss him though. And he is still young enough to forgive me.
I had a terrible time with my 2nd pregnancy with fatigue and my temper often got the best of me then.
We got through it. I can get through this. I have grown a lot since then, I have let myself relax more, I have given my self permission to do so.
So even on my worst days my mental and emotional breakdowns are fewer. My sweet husband is happy for that I am sure.
When I was pregnant with both of my little girls I was very very crazy. So my husband assumed that this baby was a boy, that speaks volumes to me about my ability to handle that way I have been feeling and the control I have managed to have.
We are having a girl, and my emotions have been MOSTLY in check. Even through my tired and worn body.
As I write this I feel immensely proud of myself. Though I am struggling, I have been pretty happy, and not completely intolerable in my emotions, HOW DID MY HUBBY TOLERATE ME when I was pregnant with my girls? I believe I was not that bad with my son. (I am entitled to believe that). My husband backs me up on that though.
Well, on that happy note I will check out. Night all!
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