One of these days I won't have to do it all. I know I don't do it all, I just can't do it all.
I gave up trying I started going crazy. As much as I love having a clean house and to have everything in it's place. My children undo all of my work. If I get the laundry put away.
SUCCESS! If I get my daughter out the door on time for schoool SUCCESS!
If I keep my cool when my son climbs on top of the table and empties a box of cheerios...SUCCESS!
This is when I ask myself seriously, is it worth trying? Well, yes to keep things livable, but not perfect. I need to stop being mortified when my house is dirty and people come over. For goodness sakes I am only human. I have to admit I hit a wall at least once a month where I don't want to do it anymore. Be a mom, yes, clean, no! If I where being paid for my job I would have been fired, for not fulfilling all my duties. However, My duties to clean the house are not the only thing in my job description.
My kids are bathed and happy today! HAPPY! That is my job. I am to be happpy, help my children feel loved and have a happy life. That is, on somedays, a very tough job. They are not loveable always (MOST OF THE TIME they are) but not always.
I think I have been lucky, my kids are good most of the time. I think they have to be or I wouldn't be able to handle it. I do not always have a lot of patience.
Okay, so I went to the store yesterday to hit the case lot sale, (spagettios, mac and cheese, who doesn't need a storage room full of these goodies). It always starts out pretty good, then my one year old escapes his straps yet again. So I am having to hold him down. 5 year old needs to go potty although we went before we left the house. Rush to the bathroom, get that done, now back to the shopping. 3 year old announces I need to go potty. (FRUSTRATION) Yes, I should have taken her with my 5 year old, I figured she'd gone right before also. Again we treck to the bathroom, CLOSED FOR CLEANING...no please not now. Upstairs open not going to work for me. I have a gocery cart full can't leave it. The worker let us use it anyway. I love when people understand children's needs. NOW I AM ASKING MYSELF, "WHY DO I TRY?"
The drama is done and we are at home. Alone, I put kids to bed (Hubby's on a bussiness trip).
Watch T.V. fall asleep and wake up to start over again.
When I wake up I find my toddler talking to himself as I come in to get him....A BIG GRIN! "HAH!" he says (that is hi) as I pick him up and he just bubbles with excitement to be alive another day! That is what it is about! THAT IS IT! My excitement wears thin as time presses on. As laundry piles up, and the dishes grow like mushrooms in the rain.
When I get that moment from my kids that excitement to just be alive, I too can make it another day, or even just one more minute. NOT for my dishes, or laundry. But to stop, play outside, read, play and love the moments that fly away so quickly.
A fun Mommy note:
I love my Hubby and it is fun to watch him be Daddy.
I think he is so attractive when he is playing with the kids on the floor and building towers or playing ponies with my kids.
I love listening to him read a story using funny voices and sounds, laughing and playing with the children. That is a sexy man to me.
